I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
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I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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