Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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