haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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