If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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