the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
