woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
