Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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