your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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