You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
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Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
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Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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