I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
