I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize