but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
