i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
