i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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