Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
