A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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