Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
