god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
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As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
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There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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