i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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