They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
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That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
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Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Is Oprah even human
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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