What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Congratulations! We have a period
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