i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize