The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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