first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
