i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
