You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
