yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The power of my boobs compel you
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
