If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
