dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
