me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize