Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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