he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize