I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
i believe in u and ur pee
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
