Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
