Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
