My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
