It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
