Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
What a dumb baby whore.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
