What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
