; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
