I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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