Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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