just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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