Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you traded sex for a burrito?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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