I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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