Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize