I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
