this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
