We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
