Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
