no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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