I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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