can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
