My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
