I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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