K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize